Since I live in the Bay Area, I have the fortune of working with many successful and talented women. Although their careers are taking off and they are earning more than reasonable pay (although there still seems to be a rather large gap between what women and men make- but that is a different story), somewhere in all of their well deserved success lies an undercoat of crushed self esteem when it comes to their dating lives. Even if they are coupled, married or in steady commitments, there still seems to be a major lack of confidence budding in the growth department we called love. So, one might ask, “what gives?” and my answer to this is that the reason there are issues surrounding one’s relationships and in the intrinsic nature of the relationship itself, the biggest challenge I see is that each person has simply not “done the work.”  It’s really easy to blame the other for not *being* the right one, or for not having good sex, or even for not living up to the standards you once made for yourself. But the biggest challenge I see is that most people have big personal blind spots.

So what to do? Well, unfortunately, improving your self esteem is not a tasty treat and some choose easy street for their fix. I, on the other hand, would have never have grown as much as I have if I had not gone down under. So choose a good therapist, and stick with 1) what you really want, 2) what you really deserve, and 3) most of all, what in life would bring you more pleasure and closer to the person you really, actually are.